Yvonne Foong -

Very good, found that Lisa likes the gift. :-) Did nothing really much. Memorized my oral piece the whole afternoon. Got to use Kayin's server to play tetris alone, sore looser. No, must polish my skills before I can defeat Lisa. Hah hah Hah!! Now must ask Yen how she makes her broadband wireless in the house. As far as Fenix is concerned, wireless Streamyx is yet to be released. mmm... And I made the tagboard border too large. Have to alter it, later. Now I shall go and watch TV. Ah something funny happened. I was half freezing while watching TV so I told my mom to fetch me something to cover my bare legs. But she wouldn't budge. Coincidently, Snoopy, was lying on a piece of cloth laid out for her next to my mom. Snoopy got up to me some time ago. So my mom jokingly picked up one end of the cloth for me. Snoopy quickly turned around, went to her cloth, and snatched the end from my mom using her paw. As though she meant, "hey! it's mine!" How selfish...

-Chocolates make a man healthy, wealthy and wise!- You know what...?!? (points at newspaper) This Malaysian girl got a date with Westlife tonight in conjunction with the Soccer Showcase. WHY? Because she's got NF. AaAaaAHH!! *waves* you forgot me!! YoooHooo!! But if you put me into the papers like that, NO WAY! But if it's Lee Hom *rubs chin* I don't mind! hehhe!! GaH...*burps* ate sushi again. I had to make for the whole family. Deary me...*rubs tummy* I'm full... This time, we've octopus, shrimps, fish eggs, etc etc. But I got fed up of making those little cubes so I rolled everything up and ate it like the California roll. Yum!! If only we have the oysters.. ah but then it speeds my tumor growth so better not. Hopes Yuki and Yui enjoy the gifts I made for their graduation!

Mummy forked through another part of the store room and took my ballet items to be aired. Ah, the shoes, one with elastic and two with ribbons. One's a point shoe. *sob* I can dance no more until my nerves heal. *sob* NO~~ I love dancing I love dancing I love it!! But I'm so fat now I look like an elephant at the Royal Circus. Gotta yank my butt up and working soon... now I'm stuck with books and awhh! mmm...I wonder why doesn't the scrollbar colors work with the Tag Board...Thanks Esther and Fenix. This shows the lack of visitors to this site. mmm...bad. Now waiting for the new tenants, and my two amigos, Alicia and Elena to come over and play. Hurray!! Edit:: They came, in the rain so I went over to McDs and fetched them here. The computer club pix's finally with me. Now gotta get the choir one from Weng Yee. *sigh* 9 guys and 4 girls in a family. Or more like, "hey-we're-the-nerds-club". We look so nerdy. (gosh, I said that) So many different expressions. Kenneth sure changed a lot since I first knew him. (hey people grow!) n Rajan's gonna burst into tears. Lisa's so innoccent. I always thought Grace is taller than Florence. And Me?, like someone have just put me on PAUSE and CHEESE!! Poor photography, no good...He should have zoomed-in more. I don't know why guys like to sit with their legs apart. It's so....RUGGET. But then, guys who don't looks......sissy. Like guys wear blue and girls wear pink. Same concept. Society's prejudice. no good....guys should wear skirts... quilt? EeeeW! Another example.

Dream will live on...sure they do. But will they come true? Here's my new orangie. The last layout, doesn't look nice with my new tagboard. So I switched to this, which long resided in my storage, so it came in handy. I supposedly completed this blog in the afternoon but blogger screwed, so I pasted it on an existing notepad on my desktop and did not save it. So I've to recall as much as I could now, which I don't think I can. So the new tag board is here for you to tag me. Go ahead and post something there. If you've got a sentence or two to say, which is, unrelated to any blogs, then the tag board is for you. Do use the comments link though. They're significantly for individual entries. I stayed in the car while mummy went into the wet market and I saw Oi wan walking pass with her friends. This happened a few days back. But I didn't call her. She might murder me for indirectly loosing her reference book which was given to me unknowingly. I'm now trying to think of a topic for my English Oral test. The scopes wide. For BM, it would be "Woman In Power" or "Wanita Era Baru". CooL! I'm gonna speak out for the woman rights. I Spent the whole afternoon clearing up the light stuffs, (can't really carry heavy stuffs) and when I couldn't find anyway to make more space, I drifted off to thinking about the Good-Old-Days in primary school. Like how I had great times with Felicia and Cia Ee in STD 6 with Shi Wei next class and Bernard downstairs. We were the three musketeers. And how I got along with Mei Ling and Caryn in STD 5. With Caryn sitting next to the window eyeing oh-kelvin-chong. (Our class was behind the podium/assembly area) Then in STD 4, we played at the field every morning(I went to school at 6:30am). STD3 when I first got Snoopy, STD1 when I recognised my classroom by counting the trees and having my parents eyeing through the window panes. Ah those days....*sniffs the air* Oh yah, the fifth formers are graduating on Wednesday. Heck..NO! oh well, bye bye! *waves* I'll sure miss them a lot. Oh, I've this VERY WEIRD dream last night. It's about receiving a gift and solving a mystery. Please don't come true, please......

OH NO! NO! NO! Kenneth you DO NOT rear birds. Because you shouldn't. Argh...I lend my book to Alicia, she lost hers. So I'll just quote this stanza for you... How can the bird that is born for joy, Sit in a cage and sing? How can a child when fears annoy, But drop his tender wing? Why not get a dog instead? A St. Bernard would be very hugable. Or the Shih Tzu? Or rare the Flower Horn? Racoon? Monkey? snake? dinasour? ET? It hurts to see birds behind bars. No place to move, no ways to fly, no space to lay eggs. *sob* Got this poem written by Jenn. Perhaps, the bird you rear will sing this day in day out... Perched up on my pedestal Still Wishing that you'd see... I can't go on becoming what I Never Claimed to Be... Looking down I see your frown, The hope that's in your eyes. Looking for that glimpse of heart With each and every sigh. Beyond the tears of yesteryear, You seem to think you'll find... The love I lost so long ago, Tucked deep within my mind. But you cant see, I'm only me... I'm not consumed with sorrow. Sad but true, I'm not like you... And still won't be tomorrow. I don't obsess with my distress, Nor like to swap sad stories. You have to stop and recognize... This life and all it's glories. So let me smile just for awhile... Just let me be myself. I'm not happy looking down... From up upon this shelf. And when I'm down I'll turn around... And hope that you will see... I'm just a girl(bird)....I'm not a Saint... I Never Claimed to Be Hehehe....isn't it silly of me? Jenn seldom holds back from writting anything in her diary. Unlike me, I made it a point that my dignity should be kept and preserved.

Yum! Yum! Mammy's friend stayed over and we made sushi. Yum! Haven't been eating them for long. Now I know how to make sushi!! It's quite simple actually, and with a little of creativity, you make sushi extraordinary. mmmm.... here's a very fruitatious layout. Makes me look older than I am. I like 'em strawberries. They're tasty and nice to chew on. -ahem- (no, not dat!) Last time I cut my eyebrow my mistake, now I trimmed my frindge too short. heck! One side just nice but have to be cut shorter too, to get it balanced. So, I look like a fool. Yah go ahead, laugh at me, I don't care. And I've going to school sometime next week to sit for 2 oral exams and also to get a student letter. mmm... seeesh... Found about 25 places around KL with musicians teaching the art of harp!! My aunt and I were looking high and low. Now that she's gone...

THE LABYRINTH UNDERGROUND (The PHANTOM and CHRISTINE take their strange journey to the PHANTOM'S lair. Candles rise from the stage. We see CHRISTINE and the PHANTOM in a boat which moves slowly across the misty waters of the underground lake) CHRISTINE In sleep he sang to me, in dreams he came . . . that voice which calls to me and speaks my name . . . And do I dream again? For now I find the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside my mind . . . PHANTOM Sing once again with me our strange duet . . . My power over you grows stronger yet . . . And though you turn from me, to glance behind, the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside your mind . . . CHRISTINE Those who have seen your face draw back in fear . . . I am the mask you wear . . . PHANTOM It's me they hear . . . BOTH Your/my spirit and your/my voice, in one combined: the Phantom of the Opera is there inside your/my mind . . . OFFSTAGE VOICES He's there, the Phantom of the Opera . . . Beware the Phantom of the Opera . . . PHANTOM In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery . . . CHRISTINE . . . were both in you . . . BOTH And in this labyrinth, where night is blind, the Phantom of the Opera is there/here inside your/my mind . . . Sing, my Angel of Music! CHRISTINE He's there, the Phantom of the Opera . . . (She begins to vocalise strangely, her song becoming more and more extravagant.)

Phantom of the Opera Wishing you were somehow here again you were once my one companion, you were all that mattered. you were once a friend and father, then my world was shattered. wishing you were somehow here again, wishing you were somehow near; sometimes it seemed if I just dreamed, somehow you would be here. wishing I could hear your voice again, knowing that I never would, dreaming of you wont help me to do all that you dreamed I could. Passing bells and sculpted angels, cold and monumental. seemed for you a wrong companion, you were warm and gentle Too many years fighting back tears, why can't the past just die? wishing you were somehow here again, knowing we must say goodbye. try to forgive, teach me to live, give me the strength to try no more memories, no more silent tears, no more gazing across the wasted years. help me say goodbye, help me say goodbye! You know ar....most broadway stories ar speaks about woman being mistreated in love. But this is different. haha!!! I like it!

Was reading Jenn's Journal and decided to sign her guestbook. She have a question up, "should stupid people breed?" And I filled in, "Why not? Birth is a miracle, a perfect gift." *sigh* It is very true. Babies are so adorable. They can send smiles to crying people and light up a gloomy day. They're part of you. The feeling's good when they learn something out of you. I last thought one of my baby nephew to spit his tongue! Seing them learn their lessons everyday brings up the spark. They have the ability to heal wounded hearts and stop rolling tears. They can also mend broken marriages. Babies are magnificient. A fellow NF patient once posted on the UBB, "do not let NF stop you from having kids" Alicia always tell me her dreams of the future. To have a great career and a family. And how much she wants a daughter. *giggle* To me, daughters and sons are both the same. They both are closer to their mother than their father. HAHAHA!!! *sigh* but being in my condition, I doubt about having kids in the future...

Hmmm... Elena, I wouldn't say I trust people, and otherwise. I'd choose to have many friends and aquiantances but only one or two close ones. It's not like you know the whole school and you've to greet everyone. That'll be exhausting. Putting less trust on others saves you trouble, if anyone backstabs. Getting too emotional would bring much hurt and dissapointment. (Gosh did I say that?) Ok, I don't think you get my idea. I found a book penetrating on self-development, or something like that. You wanna borrow? It's kind of seasoned though, found it in the store room. I'm reading one about supernaturals. hehehe....*grin* and leaving the classics library alone for now. heee..heeee...

Smile! Smile! I'm wearing new glasses! *oh big deal* :-Þ Hanny and I were shopping around my area sometime last year and went into this eyewear shop with a wide variety of frames. I told her that I'll go there again to get new frames when I change my glasses. Now, I've forgotten everything about it!! drats. And know what? It comes with a very nice case but the glasses doesn't fit into it. WTH!! Hmmm...I was reading Lisa's Stevenson classic half way through only to notice that I did not understand a single thing. They brag too much on one point. Maybe I should stick to factual ones. So I switched to Sejarah Peradaban Dunia which is SO BORING, but I HAVE to read it. And when my mom cleaned the store room yesterday I realized that I've so many super thick story books that have not been read. *blush* We also gave away my Spooksville and Goosebumps books, those I read in primary school. Then there's the "Body Works" which we bought to get the pieces of skeleton. I wonder where's the skeleton. I remember it lacks of one pieces. Was it the heart? ah books...!! Then I watched my mom throwing away the rotten chinese harp, golf sticks, rubbish, rubbish and more rubbish. Daddy kept the antiques though, and X.Os. Now, to get Felicia buy Lisa's Westlife Soccer Showcase tickets...

EPONINE Don't you fret, M'sieur Marius I don't feel any pain A little fall of rain Can hardly hurt me now You're here, that's all I need to know And you will keep me safe And you will keep me close And rain will make the flowers grow *sob* hand me the tissue...*sniff..* oi! wrong channel la!

Doey's growing old. Now prefers plain and elegance rather than stunning cutesy. I was dwelling into confusion between Crimson Blog and Blogger. Decided to glue with blogger for now. Mr. Jo's clerk is well fed up with me. He just can't get my next appointment date settled. Whenever I call up is also when Mr. Jo's in the theatre. Wrong timing. And you know brain surgeries last for the entire day. Streamyx's rusty again. Transfer rate is now on a complete halt. So I'm on TMnet. And it takes a million years for loading to be done. Since then, I better open my book...

Did quite some stuffs outdoors today. Haven't been running around that much for long since I came home. My mom and I went over to my cousin's place but Ken Nee wasn't home. He said to have gone to meet a friend who came back from China. But we got a glimpse of his medals, certificates and souvenirs from the Busan Asean Games. Had lunch there too. This time. the food is better cooked. The last time we went which was about a week ago, his mom served everything raw. We were disgusted. Hehe!! Then later, we went over to the optician to prescribe new lenses and frame. My power have not increased but now, I've got astigmatism, 50. *grumble* After that, we drove over to the friend of my mom for awhile. We went home after speaking to her for awhile. Alicia phoned just now and we talked for hours long. She's going to Singapore tomorrow and my mummy's going to Penang on Saturday I'm the only one left behind....*cry*

I'm feeling so sick of Kenrick. I never liked to assume, though it's always tempting when you don't find answers. But this is totally ridiculous. Two of my close friends, notoriously assumed that I've to undergo chemotherapy. They're INSANE. How can I possibly go for chemo? They don't even know what chemotherapy is!! Chemo is a kind of medicine that comes in pills or injections to cure or control fast spreadng bad cells. Now I found out that this dumbass friend of mine, Alicia, told Elena that, "oh! Yvonne's going for a spine op and she has a tumor in her brain, cancer." Look how idiotic people can be. If that's malignant I can hardly be saved. Thank goodness it's not. I don't know...these people make assumptions before finding out the real story. That's so bad. Asking me won't be that hard, would it? *sigh*

This is so wrong. There are only about 1000 nf2 patients in the states. I spoke to some of them and found that their spinal op was much successful than mine. I do not get it. How can my surgeon be so careless. He damaged my nerves.I ONLY have nf2 and now my peripheral nerves are in a MESS!! more numbness!! I went into the theatre with limb weakness and came out with more damage. Yes, my legs are stronger than before surgery cuz the spine is already moving into place but hey! the nerves have sort of shortened and the pain is killing me. HECK! And guess what? my next appointment is in 6 weeks time. WTH! 6 weeks? Are you crazy? I'm a human not a pig!! I doubt you would ever preserve my hearing. I hate it. And damn I don't think the ABI implant is even available in Malaysia. Malaysia is not advanced after all...idiots...and the nutter claimed himself a specialist.

Yo! Cool! Kenny used Jay Chou's song as his bg music, here. Thanks to my broadband it loads fast. I bet other surfers would have problem. I don't quite like Jay Chou, can't really catch his words. But this song is okay....Hey Kenneth Maybe changing the white font to black, suiting the already gray background? I broke my glasses this morning and have to squeeze my eyes to read 'em. Sigh....how did it break? It fell of many times and impact due on the same crack over and over again. Then finally, RIP. It's frameless, twice as risky to break at any cause. ...My new discovery.."Wishart severe form usually do not survive past 50 yrs" what does wishart mean?

Back! Why so quick? Cuz I saw the head of department and he only sees his own outpatients. Boy, his office was cool. No wonder he never goes to the ward for rounds.He even have his own TWO clerks when other doctors don't. The first thing he said to me was, "wow~! You gained a lot of weight." -grumble- "maybe you can stand steadily becuz of yer weight" -faint- And the only time he saw me was in the operation. seeesh... Mr Johari does not look malay at all. He's a total chinese by looks. Doesn't sound like one too, n he looks more like a dentist to me, or my family physician. *sigh* will have to do another scan to check the development of my spine. Then consider radiotherapy on it, and my brain or just surgery again. See...see...i knew it. They've no guts. Therapy's safer but it takes a long time and I don't have it. Sides, I read that some people who went for the surgery like mine, most got their acoustic(hearing) nerve completely removed and they'll have to insert the ABI implant to hear. So maybe by therapy, they can return my hearing. I hope... I remember...when I was outside the theatre, lyng on the bed. They sorta left me there for a while to do some last minute stuffs and I saw the big chart on the wall, writing the surgeries on that day. I was the eldest. The other are 5 and 6 years old kids. And they labelled me "multiple" nf. First of all, nf is the name of my disease, not the tumor. Then, nf itself has many manifestation and has multiple tumors. So why must they still place the word "multiple" there? Hmmm...doctors with bad English command....

Was clearing my "sent mail" and "trash" at mail.com and I saw a lot of heahrjttremaynehheahrjtre~!@@# Gah...*faint* Sure lots of junk. Good, mom agreed to contribute funds to my computer maintenance. That'll be after my next op. -darn- ah...there's so much to do with this junk. Upgrade of ram, new airing system, maybe new casing, change the graphics card, throw upwanted chips... latest operating system, wat??? I'll make her go broke. Muahahahaha!!!! I must! I must! Imust! live through this to get a new pc. Let's pray Dr. Jo does not damage my acoustic nerve. *knocks his head* One doc told mummy they've to make 2 slices on my head cuz it's too deep. Two??? and you know what, they use computerized drills to crack our skull. There was this patient who somehow lost that part of the skull and they replaced it with a plastic and labelled her head with a tape writing, "No skull". Hey doc, don't forget that I've a little one on the top part of my brain too!! Make it 3 slices lah. *sigh* I'm seing him tomorrow, for the 1st time. Kenneth, Try Yaccs or Enetation. You'll be instructed there.

OMG Benji is SO cute isn't he? Only if Cheryl ever bothers trimming the poor thing. You mean even broadbands have bad connections?? Mine can be connected already but the transfer rate is TERRIBLE. So I switched to TMnet, (again). And who the hell owns dailyjournal.diary-x.com? He/she sent me an offline message about it with login infos. I added him/her but Trillian's unsorted I don't know where has it gone now...

New layout. Simple and adorable. I'm now blogging in brief words. I've been yabbering too much. This layout'll give a change, somehow. Removed all the archives, of negative posts. Thanks Jie Yow and Cheryl 4 da nice keychain. 1:30am? I was online. :-Þ A guy and a girl roaming on the streets pass midnight. *gasp*

First of all, the previous post was not meant to be upseting. I was refering to a conversation in IRC but things didn't turn out well so it looks as though I'm confessing to myself. But thanks though, for the nice advice on comments. It's pass 12 midnight now and I can't sleep yet. Happy Birthday Cia Ee. That doesn't sound too pleasing. I'm rather feeling sick. I'm so sorry that my blog has been so dark and negative these days. I know that it has been very bubbly for the past year and now ir's all about me and my crappiness. I'm afraid of scarying even my blog readers away. Then I will loose even the last bit of hope of being heard. I always told a friend of mine, not to get too carried away by friends. She complains that her friends are distancing themselves from her and yada..yada... But seems like I've to tell those to myself. The little bit I have with me now are friends. I've many friends but only a few close ones. But they just give me the pain in the neck.. First, there's Alicia. She's the closest to me. She's a very nice companion and very helpful too. That listening ear is very efficient. But one thing for sure, she's so undecisive. She's always creating problems that shouldn't even exist, then complains of hardship that are just simple matters. While I'm facing much more difficulty than her. Why can't she just appreciate what she has now? A wonderful family, easy life, no worries...wish I could be in her place instead. Now she says she wanna join the Bangsar Young Singers by seing Joel's advertisement. She also added that her parents would agree because they want her to go out and do something, or something like that. *faint* didn't she quit the school choir all because her parents were not too pleased with her attending too many lessons? Then, there's Florence, she can be nice to talk to but she backstabbed me a few times. She did so to gain my attention. But didn't I give her enough attentions? I'm always with her in school, what more does she want? And you really can't believe how weird her family can be. Next goes Kenrick. That eyesore is a pathetic in tidiness. He dresses so sloppy, hunches and thinks it's so cool, speaks unclearly and everyone complains even the teachers, writing's so horrible you can't read at all. He's a nice friend but his attitude made me feel sick. We tried telling him off and he thinks it's so funny he doesn't give a damn. Yuki, I don't understand why our friendship have come to a complete halt. God knows why. He didn't make my sickness loose a good friend, Yuki, did he? Or was it our own fault? I'm not feeling cheated or betrayed. I just feel unfair. I think Yuki's a very nice friend and he does cheer me up in a way at every conversation. But why God has to take him away from me? Take Kenrick if you want. (oops..did I just say that?) There's nothing wrong with Elena though. So far so neutral. But she's always ranting about the prefects' board. *faint* I'd really like to go abroad and live a new life. But come to think about it, I think it'll be much troublesome. I've to worry double all alone and with no friends. Maybe I should scrap the idea. --->to be continued

*** Signoff: Proximus` (Quit: They say death smiles on a man, the only thing a man can do is smile back.) actually, it's only right that the person dying would be smiling but those around him who are left behind in this world would be crying oh ok 1st of all the person who died is smiling cuz he's finally free from the hardship of life 2ndly, the person who's left behind is sad of the dead person's departure 2rdly, the person left behind still have to go through the agonies of life, unlike the dead man so, we should not take death as the end of life rather, the beginning of another journey *seesh*...Since when Doey turned into such a philosophical but dying being that's almost like a poem I know really? share with me! "Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be. The last of life for which the first was made" -I'm growing VERY CURIOUS about this new journey.What is it like? How does it begin? What form will I be in? What will I see? Where does it lead? Well, one thing for sure. I'm going to walk it alone. My mom used to scold me whenever I need company for something, "What's there to be scared of? When you die, you're gonna die alone, anyway!"

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 10/03/2002 05:23:00 PM

Doey's UP & KICKIN'!! Yes, yes... there was a blackout last evening and the house was hot. No fan nor aircond to switch on. So, I had a cold shower after my dinner and then went off to sleep. Did not wake up ever since until this morning. Didn't even get up when Alicia called. I'm feeling great!! But my streamyx still can't be connected. $%^^@!!! Darn...I did this favor for a friend but the result is not quite right. *blush* she must be attempting on murdering me. help!!! and enetation.com is not working well. I'm applying it onto my new page. But....tsk... I've Djuice signed up ya'noe. And my horoscope for today says, "Don't go on and on about your sentimental dissapointments; it's quite normal that love contains more gall than honey" And this is so so true For more of my taken quizzed, go HERE!

Awh....gosh. I get tired really fast. Feels as though I've just went for a 10km marathon. I wonder when will I fully recover. When I lift my legs up to 90 degrees, lying on bed and then relax, I'll be so tired I can immediately doze off. ZzzZzzZzzz... Maybe I shouldn't mention about Yuki in here. Mmmm...must get a separate blog, maybe livejournal. But then, Tis' MY BLOG, a place made special to be rant on so who cares what people think. But...I don't want to hurt Yuki's feelings. Hey! I'm the one being hurt now. Very very deeply and he doesn't give a damn. Ah..but then, I don't mind. tskkk....*** Hey, Jenny's new layout is SO CUTE!! Yep Yep Kenneth. Thank you. I do read yours too. Just that I can't comment at XANGA. Cherry and Fenix, ofcourse I'll hang on. I HAVE TO hang on. I can't just jump off the balcony.can I? It's not high enough. Sides, it's kharma to kill yerself. Life's precious...and it's hard to become human so better appreciate it. Darn...now I'm saying all this.. Edit:: OKAY. Enough is enough...I'll just set Yuki aside, stop wasting my time and carry on.with life. It's shorten now so I better treasure every moment that I have. (Now, this better work)