Yvonne Foong -

Yeah the title tells all. This is a brief update on what I've been doing the past few days. On the last weekend, I had a terrible heartbreak. Yeah...HEARTBREAK. I had a serious chestache that was draining off my energy. Then on Sunday morning I spoke to Yukito on the phone (and waddya know he was shopping for groceries at that time aaw...how sweeeet!) Talked for about half an hour or so until he had to board the MRT where reception is VERY bad that was the end of a phonecall. And did I tell you Yukito is like my local aenesthesia? after speaking to him, the chestache just dissapeared and there were birds singing in the sky! The rest of the day was like heaven on earth. I don't really what I did next but on Monday, I went window shopping at Subang Parade and bought myself Charlotte Church's CD, Prelude. On the way back I met Izzed on the bus and we chatted until I reached home. That night, I slept at Elena's plac and we talked until the wee hours when I finally fell asleep. It's great to have some pillow talks with your buddy after such a long time. Then on Tuesday, our day started at 2pm, that's after watching TV and yada...yada... we went lunch with Phoebe, went shopping at Subang parade again, and then went to Kenrick's place to watch DVD. At about 8pm, his aunt fetched me back to Elena's house where we ate Bak Kut Teh.. eer... pork rib tea? Then I finally came home at 11pm and saw my mom after 4 days.

That's all about my days... boring huh? But with Yukito, even the darkest clouds turn white. HEHEHE.... *chuckle*

Here's some food of thought. Credit goes to Bing Chien's BLOG.

Difference between the one you like and the one you love

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.

when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears. But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever

The End

I guess these pointers are slightly general. And the author is in love who writes these to make those deprived envious. KEKEKE..!!

The results of Yvonne Foong's learning inventory are: Visual/Nonverbal: 22 Visual/Verbal: 24 Auditory: 30 Kinesthetic 16

Your primary learning style is: The Auditory/ Verbal Learning Style

You learn best when information is presented auditory in an oral language format. In a classroom setting, you benefit from listening to lecture and participating in group discussions. You also benefit from obtaining information from audio tape. When trying to remember something, you can often "hear" the way someone told you the information, or the way you previously repeated it out loud. You learn best when interacting with others in a listening/speaking exchange .

Strategies for the Auditory/ Verbal Learner: Join a study group to assist you in learning course material. Or, work with a "study buddy" on an ongoing basis to review key information and prepare for exams. When studying by yourself, talk out loud to aid recall. Get yourself in a room where you won't be bothering anyone and read your notes and textbook out loud. Tape record your lectures. Use the 'pause' button to avoid taping irrelevant information. Use a tape recorder equipped with a 3-digit counter. At the beginning of each lecture, set your counter to '000.' If a concept discussed during lecture seems particularly confusing, glance at the counter number and jot it down in your notes. Later, you can fast forward to that number to review the material that confused you during lecture. Making use of a counter and pause button while tape recording allows you to avoid the tedious task of having to listen to hours and hours of lecture tape. Use audio tapes such as commercial books on tape to aid recall. Or, create your own audio tapes by reading notes and textbook information into a tape recorder. When preparing for an exam, review the tapes on your car tape player or on a "Walkman" player whenever you can. When learning mathematical or technical information, "talk your way" through the new information. State the problem in your own words. Reason through solutions to problems by talking out loud to yourself or with a study partner. To learn a sequence of steps, write them out in sentence form and read them out loud.

Web Version of the Learning Styles Survey © Copyright 2000 by Suzanne Miller, InstructorContact me via: smiller@dvc.edu or or phone: (510) 685-1230 ext 830 or fax: (510) 687-2557Diablo Valley College 321 Golf Club Road, Pleasant Hill, CA 94523latest update October 25, 2000.

Here I am, worrying about what to do as a career again. I've done this many times but my health greatly influences my decisions. Looks like my childhood ambition is the hardest to achieve. To become a social worker I've to at least get a BSW or possibly MSW in order to work professionally. I see myself walking about hospitals, doing paperworks, applying grants for patients, help rehabillate them... yes they call it a surgery counsellor. But to be equipped is not easy. It's $$$ in Univ. and I'm too weak to attend lectures everyday. there will be a lot to do than just reading books.

That leaves me to my second choice which is vocal music. I decided that the full-cert diploma is not for me. Though they say its neccessary as a musician. But all I want to do is SING! so I already have grade 8 theory knowledge and I can play the piano, that should be enough, right? But then.... you really have to be very extraordinary to be noticed as a vocalist nowadays. Due to my small-built, limited lung capacity, and bad health, I won't sing opera. In fact, I've more interest in classical art songs, classical crossover they call it. Like Charlotte Church and Hayley Westenra. Haha! Kevin's dad even said I should perform broadway! BUT THEN AGAIN, I've poor hearing which I hope won't get worse. So all in all, vocal music is also another gamble.

I remember when we had our palms read last year... Elena and Alicia's life is career orientated. While he spoke nothing about mine until I asked, "it'll come later" ah... is it good or bad? I really don't wanna end up a dumb home maker. I wanna be skilled like everyone. Peer Pressure, huh? *sigh*
But what should I do?

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 8/28/2004 08:52:00 AM

I have a very unique dream last night. I dreamt that my pet tortoise gave birth to many newborn tortoises, one was at my toes. Supertitious me googled around and found these...

Spirit Community.com

Baby: Many people from time to time will have babies or small children in their dreams. If these newborns are strangers to you, you can assume that they represent you. You are the baby and the dream is telling you something about your development in a particular area of your life. At times of great change and renewal, a baby may appear in a dream and represent your potential and a new beginning. Some of the meaning of the dream may be obtained by considering what the baby looked like and was doing. Generally, babies represent innocence and are symbols of the purest form of a human whose possibilities are endless. However, if the babies appearance is odd, and if your interactions with it are bizarre or unusual, you need to consider your own well-being (psychologically) and think about what personal experiences and psychological hang-ups have prevented you from growing.

Turtle: These animals hold interesting symbolism. Most people loved turtles in childhood and some do in adulthood. The ideas that they convey are those of steadfastness and caution. They move and change very slowly, and in your dream about them, you may be expressing some of your reluctance to forge ahead. The turtles have strong protective shells, which may also be symbolic of your defense mechanisms or real life protection with which you have surrounded yourself.

Petrix.com

Turtle: Opportunity for advancement is available to you. You have enemies around

Soul Future.com

Birth: Spawning new life from withinDiscovering new aspects of yourselfA spiritual awakening

Baby:Dreaming about a baby usually indicates new beginnings, a new idea or a new birth within.

Tortoise: Slow but steady progress, Defensiveness, Resilience, A hard outer façade used to protect or disguise a fragile and vulnerable inner core

Hyper Dictionary.com

Tortoise: Seeing a tortoise in your dream, suggests that you need to take some chances in order to get ahead in life. The opportunities for advancement are opened to you, but you need to take the next step

Birth: Dreaming of giving birth or see someone else giving birth, suggests that you are giving birth to a new idea or project. It also represents a new attitude, fresh beginnings or a major upcoming event. Alternatively, the dream may be calling attention to your inner child and the potential for your to grow. A more direct interpretation of this dream, may represent your desires/ anxieties of giving birth or the anticipation for such an event to occur. Dreaming that you are giving birth to a non-human creature means you overwhelming (an unfounded) fear in the health of your baby. You are overly concerned that your baby may have birth defects. This type of dream is common in expectant mothers in their second trimester. If you are not expecting, then it refers to your fear in the outcome of some decision or project. You are trying to overcome difficulties in your life and achieve inner development. In particular, if you dream that you are giving birth to a monster, then it implies that your inner creative energy has yet to differentiate itself and grow into expression. You may hold some hesitation in releasing this "monster" for fear that others will judge your or that they will not accept your ideals. Dreaming that the mother dies during birth, represents transformation. The dream represents the ending of one thing (death) and the new beginning of another thing (birth). You may be making life changes or getting rid of your old habits and ways.

Foot: Dreaming that you injured or hurt your foot means a lack of progress, freedom, and independence. Alternatively, the dream may suggests that you have taken a step in the wrong direction. In particular, to dream that your foot gets cut by glass, then it indicates passivity. You are hesitant or reluctant in taking the first step toward a goal or decision.

These are SO true about the position I am in now. The next big leap I am going to take is to go abroad. But I am still not sure what exactly is holding me back. Is it the the mean people that has been discouraging me? or is there something I cannot let go of? I used to be very excited about this new adventure. But now I feel different. A weird feeling... something that is blocking my vision. what could that be?

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 8/25/2004 08:35:00 PM

If having an incurable disease is not bad enough, I've to bear with people who constantly dampens my spirit. In one day, I received 2 blows. First was my mom's friend who was skeptical when mom told her my case is on a charity basis. Worst of all, she began by saying I got it through the internet. And don't know why people choose to be narrow-minded, they take the internet as evil and anyone making anything out of it is in trouble. Maybe its the selfish Malaysian attitude that doesn't believe in the need of charity and existance of charitable possibilities. I gave her the website of the House Ear Institute and she probably got it wrong. She tells my mom that a drug company is paying me as a guinea pig. Oh please...that's so totally ridiculous! common sense tells that surgery is a practical thing and drugs are more like radiation. ah what the heck.. they still think chemotherapy is radiation anyway.

Then... just now my aunt in US called and with a very sarcastic accent she told me, "do u have anyone to stay with after ur surgery?", "i want u to know that its ur responsibility alright", "u've to be responsible for whatever u do" blablabla... this may sound very ordinary to you but I know her attitude and there's sure some other meaning behind those words.

ah... how many people actually believes in me? who still believes there is a way out of every situation? who believes there's still justice in this world? Someone says I've over-confident sometimes. She is right and you know what, optimism is what brought me this far. and I'm thankful for it.

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 8/25/2004 08:49:00 AM

FINALLY.... after months of planning.. I'm finally ready to proceed for my surgery. I'm leaving on 8th September, 3:15pm. Arriving in LAX on the same day, 6:25pm. (LA is 18 hours different from us) So much hustles and bustles.. we're back to square one. I'm going alone. Hah! what's the big deal? I've been in worse situations. The only thing I feel pity is Yuki. I should've contacted him much earlier. I've just purchased a RM55-value IDD card, now left with RM45 and I'm leaving in 2 weeks time. The remainder of credits will be given to my mom, so she can call me in LA at a discounted rate, 0.20 cents/min. Coincidentally, Keisha is leaving to India for the same purpose, on 7th September. If she decides to be operated in LA, we can meet for the first time, in a foreign country somemore, won't it be cool? Well, I'll just have to wait till she visits during winter.

Waddya know? spoke to yukito again. wheeeee!! and it went on for 45 minutes excluding the times we spent re-dailling. Somehow the connection tonight was terrible. He sounded like mumbles adding that Taylors' College is in its commercial zone again. BISING BETUL!! I should've called him tomorrow instead. Ah... I wanted the off-peak rate at 0.15 cents/min and Saturday night is best.

If it wasn't for the connection, it would have been a very gleeful conversation. For the first time, he dominated the whole conversation instead of talkative me. 2 years ago I'd go blabbering and he listens. And 2 years later, it's vice versa. And I'm happy about that cuz really I'm tired of being the initiative one. Unfortunately tonight, it felt like I was talking to Kenrick who mumbles all the time and I have to pick out 'keywords' to make out what he is saying. Luckily, Yuki spoke so many words and all in full sentences that made it much easier to guess.

But it's funny you know cuz I'm very slow and I don't get things fast enough, opposite of himself. So when I don't understand he explains until I do with a more slower speed and funny accent. well... if it was someone else I'd take it as offensive but it sounds real funny on Yuki. heehee!!

Looking forward to next weekend... WHEEEEE!! *nuts*

how does ur dream guy looks like? (more like who Yuki is..hehe)

1. sweet or sexy?
Most guys despise being descibed as sweet. Sexy? more like nerdy.

2. honest or shy?
honest. I can't stand shy guys

3.cute or handsome/pretty?
cute tho' some may attest to that.

4. chinito or big eyes?
chinito but when i look into his eyes they seem big

5. friendly or picky?
from my side it's friendly. but looking at his social circle, its picky.

6. fasionable or casual?
it's fashionably casual.

7. interesting or funny?
interesting. he never fails to amaze me.

8. mysterious or out-in-the-open?
there's practically no one i can speak to about him.

9. pessimistic or optimistic?
i hate pessimism

10. elegant or down-to-earth?
down-to-earth

11. intelligent or witty?
Yuki has both. ain't I lucky?

12. conversationalist or more-than-words type of guy?
conversationalist. somehow our conversations are never dry or over-flooding.

13. rich or middle class?
is there a specific range?

14. romantic or buddy-type?
buddy type. The best romance blossoms from friendship.isn't it great to be able to treat your love as your bestfriend?

15. intellectual or sporty?
intellectual. I'm not into sports either.

16. cuddly or muscular?
he's warm and strong.

17. nice teeth or nice eyes?
he has both.

18. musician or athelete?
musician.

19. tall or average?
average. he's precisely 20cm from me!

20. smoker or non-smoker?
NON-smoker. i repeat...NON-smoker.

21. drinker or non-drinker?
the last time I knew he doesn't take alcohol. now dunnola...

22. traditional or go-with-the-flow?
both, more towards the latter.

23. adventurous or laid-back?
i hate inactivity. and he's goal-orientated.

24. long or short hair?
I've never seen him in long hair but short looks smarter and tidier.

The word "soulmate" is a subjective matter. I googled around the web and found many renditions of the word.

In Greek Mythology, it is believed that humans were once with 2 heads and 4 legs. It is because they offended the Creator, as punishment, they were separated and destinied to search for each other for the rest of their lives. sad case isn't it?

Back in time, soulmates were explained through myths, astrology, palmistry, et cetera. Today's scientist calculates probability of soulmates based on geographical conditions of the community. Personally, soulmates are too subjective to be associated with maths and science.

Some also believe that we have many soulmates; teachers, caretakers, those who makes us realise who we are, etc. Urgh.... so many explanations.. they are getting me confused to remember all.

Based on my own observation and logical analysis of available datas.. I've come up with my own conclusion. I believe that we are pre-ordained to ONE soulmate before birth. Your soulmate is your other half, almost identical. Ofcourse, there are still little differences here and there but that's just to keep one another from getting bored of each other. But humans are still human. We have a choice whether to be or not to be with our soulmate. In order words, you choose to be happy. Some people remain single all their lives. I believe its their attitude that keeps them searching on and on. They never come to terms of who they are and what they really need. These people THINK they want something when they clearly need something else.

Now for the emotional part, how do you know if he/she is your soulmate? This is a little tricky for those who have not found theirs. I agree with Ed's explanation that your soulmate is someone who fills your emptiness. As no one is complete, soulmates are here to make us feel complete. It is just like looking at yourself in the mirror. A soulmate is an exact duplication of you with the extra elements that you lack.

But don't think that soulmates are pre-made either. Although they are pre-ordained to you, it still take efforts to maintain. An open mind to who you are and what you want will help a lot.

I have one little point but I'm not sure if it applies to everyone. I believe that when you meet your soulmate, it feels like you've known this person (emotionally) somewhere, sometime ago. When you meet after a long separation, both starts talking like you've never been separated. They simply bring the best out in you. Some even have telepathy!

It's simply impossible to explain about soulmates in a blog post. The best way to understand this is to meet your soulmate personally. Before you do that, you have to remember, who you are and what you lack/need.

Do take some time to read this insightful ARTICLE.

WHEEEEEE!! I FEEL SOOOOOO HAPPY!! Never felt this happy in a looong time! and there's only 1 reason that can make me like this. and it's gotta be Yukito. WHEEEEEE!! I must thank Ed and Elena for the ignitions... for encouraging me. WHEEEEEEEEE!!!

*sing the Barney song*

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 8/14/2004 08:03:00 PM

Got this list from the web and here it is for some laughter. hahaha!

1. Men like to barbecue (this explains Kenrick's eagerness about having a barbecue for my birthday and willingly grills for all of us., without a single fret. Tho I don't quite understand why)
2. Men will cook if danger is involved.
3. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and have bought jewelry.
4. Marrying a divorced man is ecologically responsible. In a world where there are more women than men, it pays to recycle.
5. Men are very confident people. My husband is so confident that when he watches sports on television, he thinks that if he concentrates he can help his team. If the team is in trouble, he coaches the players from our living room, and if they're really in trouble, I have to get off the phone in case they call him.
6. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
7. Men love to be the first to read the newspaper in the morning. Not being the first is upsetting to their psyches.
8. All men are afraid of eyelash curlers. I sleep with one under my pillow instead of a gun.
9. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
10. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear into the heart of even General Schwartzkopf.
11. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
12. Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and nerdy
13. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
14. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh, my God, I'm so embarrased. Get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."
15. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor, two inches from the door.
16. If a man prepares dinner for you and the salad contains three or more types of lettuce, he is serious.
17. If you're dating a man who you think might be "Mr. Right" because he got older,
    got a new job, or
    visited a psychiatrist,
    you are in for a nasty surprise. The cocoon-to-butterfly theory only works on cocoons and butterflies.
18. No man is charming all the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
19. When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
    When four or more women get together, they talk about men.
20. Men are less sentimental than women. No man has ever seen the movie THE WAY WE WERE twice voluntarily.
21. Most women are introspective: "Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled?" Most men are outrospective: "Did my team win? How's my car?"
22. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget... he didn't lose your number... he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
23. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
24. Getting rid of a man without hurting his masculinity is a problem. "Get out" and "I never want to see you again" might sound like a challenge. If you want to get rid of a man, I suggest saying "I love you... I want to marry you... I want to have your children." Sometimes they leave skid marks.
25. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with superheroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
26. Male menopause is a lot more fun than female menopause. With female menopause you gain weight and get hot flashes. Male menopause -- you get to date young girls and drive motorcycles.
27. Men forget everything; women remember everything. That's why men need instant replays in sports. They've already forgotten what's happened

When applying for visa, my number was 1190. Since the process went smoothly for me, I thought it was perhaps a lucky number. Yeah...how supertitious I am. So when we drove pass the Lotto shoplot (dunno what its called) mom asked me something and I suggested that we bid on 1190. That was on Sunday.

1190 happens to be 3rd prize for today's draw. If we bought on Monday, perhaps we can get about RM5,000 cuz mom bid RM5. *sigh* seems like I'm close to being lucky, but not just yet.

Don't worry I won't become an addicted gambler. Cuz I'm not born with such attitude and I'm certain about it. Scardy Cat...Catch a Rat...

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 8/11/2004 10:43:00 PM

Usually we get everyone's head turned at the word "spirit", or "ghost". Cuz it is what we cannot see with our naked eye and therefore remain a mystery. But ironically, my last post did not get any comment. Is it because people are afraid of commenting? or they don't notice the extra presence in the photo. For those relevant to the second reason, there's a clearly visible pair of legs next to Elena's big head.

In lighter note, Joo Kim came over this afternoon and we decided to be outdoors. So we drove and drove along Federal Highway and suddenly decided we should pay a visit to the legendary muzeum. The last time I went there was time inmemorial. The entrance fee is still RM2. But lotsa modifications inside. It has more display items now and also more congested, in my humble opinion. But Joo Kim didn't feel too good about the atmosphere so we departed and went to the planetarium but sadly, it was near closing time. So we went to the bird park instead and it was hell of a GREAT TIME! We saw so many bird species I can't remember all. I'm so proud of being able to pet an owl! It's feather was VERY smooth and it is VERY humble. That big pitiful eyes... must have been through a lot of taming process. It doesn't fly off and I wonder why. We saw many hornbills and peacocks and parrots and ostriches (we feed 'em!!) and storks and emus and what else ah? Gosh I love that place so much but I didn't have enough stamina to really enjoy the trip. The entrance fee is RM12 for local adults and RM28 for foreigners. No fair huh?

We left the Bird Park at 7 something and drove to PJ state to have dinner. Picked up Joo Kim's brother from tuition at ss17 and then sent me home. I'm VERY satisfied with my day because it was VERY worthwhile. My time had gone to good use, instead of lepaking at shopping malls and watering holes.

I heard the zoo is now in a sad state, otherwise I would most likely go there. I also intend to visit PAWS one day. But next time I'm not wearing jeans. LOL!

posted by Yvonne Foong  # 8/11/2004 06:27:00 AM

The title sux. I don't know what should I name it cuz I'm still in shock. I took this photo for elena. I turned off the flash cuz I liked the bluelight effect resulting from Kafe 7's signboard. But look closely to the white wira car... WE WERE NOT ALONE!

Before this I always doubted those pictures people took that contains shadowy figures.. but now I experienced it myself! so my fellow bloggers who believe me, this is real.

I actually made sure no one was behind Elena before I snapped and the road was also empty and quiet at that time. One reason I can think of, is because of my bad mood. I felt sad at that time and probably prone to the afterlives. I dunno... this is just my guess.

Care to speculate?

Today, or more like YESTERDAY (since its past 12am), the bunch of us (me, Elena, Kenrick, Gideon, Joel, Jason, Rajan and another fella) had Bak Kut Teh for dinner at this cozy air-conditioned restaurant near The One Academy.

Well, I was told it's only me, Gideon and Rajan, to wish me farewell and to reunite with Gideon who has been studying in Singapore for months now. If I hadn't called Elena, I daren't imagine how things would have been like. It was hell in the car. 6 guys squashed in the backseat of a Cefiro ain't cool. Adding that they were talking very loudly.

It wasn't a great outing for me. Dunno y, I don't feel happy with this gang anymore. I wonder if I ever did anyway. Wish I could mix more with Luke and gang. They're so nice to crap with. Well, maybe cuz they're all grown-up 22-year-olds so they talk differently. I kept laughing even when I am not involved in the joke.

We took some photos today... it's uploaded into flickr. Check them out via the link at the side.

Good News for myself. My mom and I, both got an infinite visa, that lasts for 10 years. Yeay!! No need for renewal for the next 10 years. Now my next step is to...

Upon entering, I was screened from hair to toe for weapons of mass destructions. I was found innocent. So I walked across the open area to the office where I was again screened. (this time I am smart enough to leave my h/p to my mom) When I went in, there was this dark skinned guy with an european slang at window no. 6. He was taking ages to finish talking. The good thing about Aseans, we're more straight-forward. Or more like we never tend to speak in proper sentences.

My turn came and the baby-voice lady took my stubs.
And when she came back with my passports;
Lady: We're supposed to start at 2:30 but...well...
Me: (Shah Alam is a better place to allocate an Embassy)Yeah...we're early. *giggle*
Lady: So here you go...
Me: Thank you
Lady: Take care and have a nice day
Me: *smile*
Lady: Okay??
Me: Kay...

I think she went through my particulars and know I am sick. Either that or I just look little and adorable. *heh heh*

I literally ran past the exit point with the passports in hand, forgetting to return the consular tag. "I thought you didn't want your I/C", said the woman at the guard house. And when I came back to return, I tripped and fell on my back. Those ignorant Malaysians waiting in line right behind me, just looked as if watching a drama on TV. Then came that non-Malaysian-european-looking-guy who just exited. He helped me up. At this point, I was thanking the kind soul while cursing the oh-so-Malaysian attitude.

And not to forget, the monkey show that my mom put on when she realise her visa valids for 10 years, so as mine.
I'd also like to note that we weren't interviewed. But it was such glee to watch other people's interview especially this absolutely dramatic conversation between a chinese guy and the strictest embassador among the lot. how much do you earn? what's your bank account balance? why didn't u directly return on your last trip? what do you do?
If I had a camcorder I could have taken that down. It was great to watch.
Oh and this huge family of 6. He claims to earn RM100k a month. Sounds like a business man. Oh well... both parties didn't get through. There were like almost a hundred applications on Tuesday but only about 10 or less turned up, including myself. I am blessed!

Now a question... if only a limited amount of applicants are allowed to enter on a strict basis, then why is the embassy so big?

I've always been interested in the unknown. I'd shrug for awhile like when I first heard about the Bermuda Triangle. Well, I actually went there before when I was 9 years old and thank goodness I did not get trapped. But really, the unseen like afterlife isn't so scary after all. Just like when they say that humans are the worst trouble. Now, that's not relevant but...

I don't know if it's a privilege to be able map my own life. Some people prefer to live within fate's control. I don't think that is a good idea but choosing is also very scary. Suddenly, it strucked me that it's not the guy I choose, but the path I opt to take. I was very delighted to see the fork at the start of my love line dissappearing. But now, I wonder if it's a good thing.

Ever since I chose to take Dr. Friedman's offer, something unconciously happens gradually. Now, I do not miss Yukito as much as before. I''m still emotionally attached to him. When I receive his mails and hears about him, I become very delighted. But at normal times, I don't have that sweet and sour feeling anymore. Instead, I feel like he is literally dead. Have you had any loved ones depart this world? For example, when my aunt first died, I was very upset and cried myself to sleep many times. The pain was very vivid as if it was physical. But after a long time, the grief is no longer there. I still remember her very well, but I do not feel her anymore.

Like now, I do not remember how it felt at Yuki's presence. It's like I knew this guy some very long time ago and now he's just completely gone, physically. The e-mails and messages are plain materials that humors the mind. I doubt sometimes, could the sender be impersonating Yuki? Am I not speaking to Yuki?

DISTANCE is what really makes the heart go fonder, but absence makes us forget.

Could Yuki be influenced by my options in life? But looking at my priorities, I did make this decision according on it.

Whatever happens, I know for sure that I will be happy with whatever choices I make.